THE PURPOSE OF SEX
by Al Durrance
With the present
argument and debate over the propriety of homosexual acceptance and the further
acceptance of divorce as a means of getting about God's business, it seems good
to me to consult the Bible, which seems to me the Manufacturer's Handbook, and then
ask the Manufacturer for His view on the matters we have been debating without
coming to a consensus
I read where Jesus said that in a marriage, the two are made one flesh. The vision that I had many years ago was that there are three persons in every marriage, the bride, the groom, and the person of the marriage.
When we entered
into the debate about sexuality in terms of heterosexual or homosexual, I find
very few who are asking the question about the purpose of sex in the first
place. I took the liberty of asking the Lord to tell me what it is all about.
His answer to me was, "I have given sex to my children as a tool to bond a
man and a woman to each other so that a marriage might be
integrated and strong as a core for a family. They have taken that tool and used it as a toy."
Since the intended use of sex is for uniting a man and a woman, and since what God makes works to get the job done, the use of sex with more than one person does what it is purposed to do. It adulterates, adds something that does not belong, to the interior bonding. The result is fragmentation. Each of those who participate in the sexual relationship loses a part of him/herself to the other; and each one becomes indwelt by the other.
When sex is used as God's tool for bonding two people in a marriage, it works well, when it is used as a toy, it destroys that which it was given to build.
The Problem of Attachment
I recall clearly the day a man walked into my office and told me he felt as if he were married to two women. He was involved in an affair. I pointed out that he was married to two women. I just didn't know how to deal with the problem at the time.
Then I ran into a woman in another place who told me that she felt as if her husband was tied around her neck. He had left her for a younger woman, but he didn't take his entire life with him. There was a part of him left because the tool God designed worked the way He designed it.
In asking how to pray for her, I heard from the Lord, that I was to speak to the part of her husband who was still indwelling her, and tell him he no longer belonged where he was. I absolved him and told him to go with Jesus back to his place, and release his wife to come back where she belongs.
The experience was very much like an exorcism. It literally cast out the husband and restored the wife. I heard from her a couple of years later that she was still free.
That revelation gave me the awareness to help another person I met who was dealing with an affair. He seemed to feel trapped in the relationship. I asked him if he would be willing to try praying in that way to separate him from the woman who did not belong there. He said yes. The ministry was done, and the separation was made.
I was working with someone who had been faced with voices that were trying to lead her into an immoral life style. In seeking to set her free, I found the spirit of Beelzebul and cast it out first, and then worked with the spirit voices that were seeking to use her body for sexual activity.
The next time we met, Beelzebul was back, and we removed him again. In asking the Lord how he got back in. He indicated that his reentry was through the door that was one of the men she had been to bed with in the past.
We dealt with the
removal of all of those who had come in through sexual bondage, and Beelzebul has not been back since that door was closed.
Furthermore, the person for whom we were praying has grown in her own integrity
and knowledge of who she is and to whom she
Suggested Prayer Procedure
It seems to me that it would be a good idea to pray with anyone who is not a virgin, but who plans to get married. It would be a good idea to use the tools that God has given us to correct the errors we make with the tools He gave us in the first place.
I have been led to place my hand in the small of a person's back and speak to the person or persons who are indwelling, telling them, "This is not your place. You do not belong here, and you cannot stay here. I forgive you all of your sins, and I tell you, you are free to go with Jesus back to your place."
"Go with Him. Take His hand, and let Him lead you back where you belong, and bring back Name to where he/she belongs. You will have more peace as will he/she." Wait as you sense the departure on the one or more who are there. There is a freedom that comes from using God's tools God's way.
When we see what the Lord has in mind for our use of the gift, it makes a lot more sense on our use of the tool to build and grow and strengthen relationships in marriage. It also makes sense out of the prohibition of adultery or sexual promiscuity of any kind.
It is not so much that we will be punished for our sins. It is evident that we are punished by our sins when we abuse God's gifts to use them our way. We need to ask Him what and how to use all that He gives us. There is more to sexuality that the excitement of an orgasm, even when it is a shared excitement. Our focus on the union and the lasting nature of that union is far more in accord with the Lord, and it makes of marriage something wore than the agreement of two people living together under the same roof in the same bed.
It is the focus on for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death parts us. How much better we would reflect the "faithfulness of the Lord as He lives with us as our eternal Husband.